Hi Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Ganesha.
(After a little research..) I've found that Ganesha is typically noted as being the elephant god; associated with being the god of wisdom and learning, the mover of obstacles. He is often regarded as the Lord of success and destroyer of evils, wealth, education and knowledge.
Yeah Taryn..so like what's the point?
After three full weeks of being in a brand new state, figuring out the roads, figuring out my projects (or lack there of) I still have no idea what I'm doing. I'm frustrated, scared, grumpy and tired. The projects I am working on deal with problems and analysis I have never dealt with before, ever. I am having the most difficult time remember that it is okay that I have no idea what I'm doing. I have to constantly remind myself that if I can muscle my way through this I'll be so much wiser after. If I can struggle through this, with a respectively positive outcome, I will such a beneficial skill set that will only allow me to accomplish more. I have to constantly remind myself that all forces are equal and opposite; whatever frustrations and struggles I have now, can only result in something positive. It's a tough idea to wrap my head around when all I want to do is show my team that I am not a dud and I actually have some inkling of what I'm doing.
I am one of the most awkward people I know but this internship pushed my boundaries of discomfort. I'm not talking gas and stomach issues, I'm talking about physical frustration knowing that aside from menial data collecting, I have very little to contribute to these projects. I am for once, in a position where I am unable to take charge and just accomplish something (if anything); to me, that feels just the same as failing. I have yet to figure out if I have this problem because I am too timid to ask questions or if I'm just so lost that I just don't know what questions I should be asking.
So why Ganesha? If I were to ever have a spirit, god, otherworldly idol looking over me, I would hope it were this guy (or girl, you know- ya-ya feminism and stuff). Finishing my third week of internshiping and still as lost as when I first started, I'm going to need a lot of help ushering in wisdom, knowledge, education and success into the later half of my summer session here. I will gladly let an elephant idol scare and trample away all the evil and obstacles he can. So, Ganesha, help me lotus position my way to some kind of clarity within the next few days, please.
Apologies for the sappy-pre-quarter-life crisis ramble here. I"ll try to find some food related things soon; till then..
Stay tuned! Stay hungry!
-Taryn Julia
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